one time i came off anesthetics in the hospital and i convinced myself that i didn’t exist outside of the internet and when they tried to get me to drink something i screamed ‘i’m just a blog’ at them and they made my mom come calm me down and for some reason they filled up a rubber glove with warm water to help with something idk but the nurse gave it to me and said ‘this is your boyfriend now’ and when they took it away i started crying
what the fuck
Anonymous said: One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
dont forget your good looks
cool it comes with a free refill
How would girls feel if it said “Female Tears” ??
FUCKING THANK YOU
we need to talk about that house loan
It’s gonna cost you a leg. Specifically, that guy’s prosthetic leg.
I need it.
I also need that guy’s eye.
No, no you don’t.
Sir, he does not need your eye.
Puppy growing up, no hesitation on the second jump. [video]
I’m just gonna curl up and watch this until the end of time okay
my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend
even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
I have a very big crush on u but sadly I am only a little bug and u are a garden
okayyy can everybody stop talking shit about ppl who give their dogs and cats all-vegan diets, i fed my cat all raw vegan food since he was a kitten and he lived a very happy four years :)
I thought we were having a moment…you ruined it
Base By: Jahrenesis